Vizzini’s Rules Of Blogging
By Seth on February 19 2009
If you've ever seen the movie, The Princess Bride, then it's not entirely inconceivable that you'd remember Vizzini for his ill humor and intent focus on starting a war. Vizzini wasn't all bad though. In spite of his patronizing tendencies and snappy remarks, he offered a few valuable tips on building a successful blog. I'll break down some of his most valuable hints here with an explanation after each quote. If you'd like to relive the glory of the original scenes and perhaps make an interpretation of your own, a scene from the movie is included.
"And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!"
Never forget where you started. As you build your blog and increase contacts through social media and other blogs, take care not to lose sight of the person who started all this: you. It doesn't matter how long it took you to build your blog for it all to be swept away in a moment of poor judgement or anger. Hold on to your roots and let them guide you.
"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."
Pick your battles carefully. Insight and incite are two of the most-confused words in blogging. You will be tempted to write a quick, emotional post that says exactly what you think of a topic at the time. Don't follow through on the temptation. Doing so could be very damaging for your blog, especially if it turns out you were wrong in your initial assumptions or you lose a potential advertiser because your writing seems childish.
"Never get involved in a land war in Asia"
Pick a niche and stick with it. Techcrunch, Mashable, HuffPost, and many others have already happened. Take Vizzini's advice and avoid trying to take massive amounts of territory (readers) with your one-horse army (blog).
"Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons!"
Every success story is told by somebody looking backward, not ahead. Keep this in mind as you read popular bloggers talking about how they "made it big." Sometimes the best thing you can do is ignore all the "experts" and set out on a path you feel to be right in terms of your passion and goals. Others might laugh at you for your presumption. Ignore them. In the midst of all the hooplah about Twitter, web 2.0, and the newest and greatest technology, it's easy to forget that great blogs don't grow from frenetic repositioning.
As Inigo Montoya said so well, "let me sum up". If you have a specific purpose for your blog, a sense of where you came from and an idea of where you'd like to end up, you won't need the gurus to be a success. Sure, you could discount Vizzini's advice on blogging because he died from drinking wine with iocane powder in it…but Wesley wasn't entirely fair in poisoning both glasses of wine. Or was he?
If there's a favorite quote that you'd like to share or a lesson you learned from your earliest days of blogging that you'd like to pass on to new bloggers, please share in a comment. I look forward to our conversation!
screen shots via: www.thebigpicturedvd.com, www.mos.totalfilm.com
What our readers said
Awesome! I love this, I’ve always liked Princess Bride, and you’ve done a terrific job of equating Vizzini’s eruptions with common sense. I hope to follow this and other good advice on both of my blogs.
@schumacherts
@punctuatingr
Heidi
This is great! PB is one of my all-time favorite movies and I just started a blog…thankyouverymuch!
I’m so looking forward to the comments on this post! I seem to devour anything and everything blog related these days!
Not just great advice, but an incredibly fun way to share it!
Thanks for a great post! :)
Jeannette
This is incredible. I love it.
Good blogging advice, to be sure, but to link it to Vizzini? Inconceivably brilliant!
(I just got done telling The Princess Bride to my two daughters as a bedtime story… took me four nights. They loved it.)
“Never get involved in a land war in Asia”
Great advice. I like your application of it. Everyone wants to try to replicate success, innovation and originality are genuinely hard.
I loved this post. Very creative and unique. I have 1 more to add: “But it’s so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you.” – Know your audience.
@jphodgins
Eruptions you say? That’s perfect!
I’m glad you found it useful. It was a lot of fun going through the movie again looking for “wisdom” from a character we most often associate for overuse of “inconceivable”.
Great fun!
A bit of advice on your new blog? Make sure you putspacesbetweenwords….
I’m kidding. I know what you meant. =)
You’ll want to take things related to The Princess Bride with a grain of salt…just like it will serve you well to do when “devouring” other information on blogging. You’re the only one who knows for sure if you’re being genuine. Find that voice and stick with it. We’ll be here to cheer you on!
Hi Seth,
Fantastic! Such lovely advice – and brilliant imagery vis a vis tying it to PB. Love it. Will definitely share and am sure it will inspire.
Shelly
Adam, “I do not think that word means what you think it does.” =)
It’s great that you tell stories to your kids at night. My dad read aloud every night for YEARS and I think it played a huge role in forming good vocabulary and a love for words in most of his children. I know it made a difference for me.
Good for you!
There are many lessons for us in PB — this was a fabulous and creative post. Love it. I think I’ll print it out and hang it over my desk.
More, please!
“But in the meantime, rest well, and dream of large women.”
Heh.
Hi Mandi,
I agree. It’s great to look at the success of others and discover the parts that will work for you, but simply copying won’t work. You might find a way to be the best online news and gossip blog, but it won’t be by copying Huffpost. It’s so easy to underestimate the value of our own voice because we speak to such a small audience at first.
Keep on writing. Keep on sharing. You might be surprised to find that you’ve covered all of Europe and Asia doesn’t seem so difficult anymore!
While you remember where you came from, don’t forget who helped get you where you are – your readers! As you grow, never stop interacting with your readers. If they are taking the time to read your words and leave a comment or contact you, you need to reply! Don’t ever ignore your readers. Great, fun post.
Yes, Good quote!
Vizzini did a really terrible job of “knowing his audience” and is a great example of what can happen to bloggers who assume too much about their readers.
The day you write a post for your 34 year-old housewife reader might be the exact same day Digg sends 30,000 25 year-old single males to your blog.
If you’re willing to try new things and be flexible, I think you’ll spend less time drinking Iocane powder and more time making friends!
Awesome quote. Thanks!
What advice would you give to new bloggers based on THAT quote? haha. Really, I’d like to know!
Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Know your audience.
Westley: Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a holocaust cloak.
Know your resources.
Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Man in Black: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don’t know.
Man in Black: And what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I… am not left-handed.
Save your best stuff for when it matters most.
Seth,
This is just brilliant. You’ve found your niche; dare I say, your true love?
Inconceivable!
(PS. If you are in my digital neighborhood tomorrow, look out for worms.)
Now, back to work on a serious book. Seriously.
Nicely done!
I think your last set of quotes could be applied to guest posting especially. I’ve seen a lot of new bloggers try to shop around posts they’ve written that don’t fit what they’re doing with their own own blogs so they try to use them as a guest posts someplace else. It’s akin to Ford presenting a new kind of ice cream sandwich at the Detroit Auto Show…it might be a great idea, but it doesn’t fit into expectations and the greater scheme of things!
Lately, we’ve been watching that movie about 3x/week. My 5 year-old loves it even though she barely understands what they’re saying. Great post. Goldman is an amazing writer. You’ve done well weaving these ideas together. I look forward to more.
I like. Wondering though – can you(I mean you in the general sense, not you in particular) keep your same voice while writing for different audiences. I blog around………..
Brainworms!!!
Hit me up on Twitter and I’ll check it out for sure!
I’m not sure about True Love…but I’m certainly better than mostly-dead! =)
There are many levels to the movie and I think that helps make it a real classic. Even if you can’t understand the verbal sparring, it’s fun to watch the clunky rats in the fire swamp!
There’s a lot to learn from the writing in that movie, I agree. Appealing to many different types of people with varied senses of humor is a challenge met with a flourish.
Why would you change your voice when talking to a different audience? Change your content, but don’t be running around changing your voice! That’s what makes you different!
I ignored your comment for 20mins out of protest. =)
I agree. It can be hard to do with time constraints but its definitely worth the effort it takes to keep conversations alive.
It can be so easy to forget one’s base when things start to take off and other tasks require more of your focus and energy. So said the NASCAR driver who was so intent on driving to win that he forgot to put fuel in his car.
(I apologize for the NASCAR reference. I don’t watch it. It just made sense as an example)
The albino in the torture chamber changed his voice after clearing his throat. But I suppose it was not his voice before.
Oh, you’re right. But didn’t his voice change simply because he’d finally cleared the blockage from his throat? It could be that his changed voice was from contrived to genuine…which would be a great move for any blogger to make!
As a new blogger, I appreciate all the help I could get. Thanks for the great advice!
Wesley was perfectly fair! Vizzini failed to notice how Westley phrased things:
“All right, where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right, and who is dead.”
He never said the poison was only in one goblet; Vizzini assumed that. So I guess the lesson there is to parse others’ words very carefully, and don’t assume anything that isn’t clearly stated when something important is at stake.
Love post/love The Princess Bride. (Just had a viewing recently for my kids.)
“My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Blogger lesson — have a goal and keep your focus. (SEO rewards await those who stay focused on one object/subject.)
You’re right, Matt. Vizzini entered into the contest without preconditions and really lost out in the end.
You present yet another solid lesson to be learned from the Sicilian: listen, listen, listen and think before you post!
The only bit about the final fight scene between the 6-fingered man and Inigo that I never understood was the part where they stab each other in the upper arm. What was the purpose of that?
You’re right about the SEO. Google and other search engines are very clear in suggesting what you should do: write for people. Do so consistently and the search engines will start recommending you to readers like a heroin addict pushing new users to the dealer who supplies the addict at no cost!
Was that too-extreme of an example? =D
Perhaps. But isn’t voice a combination of personality and content?
I love it Seth…one more place to find your words =)
All excellent points, by the way…very educational, while still entertaining. Love it.
A wise woman first asked me the question, and then shared her philosophy. The day I live every moment according to these words is the day I will know I have arrived at my destination.
First, her voice becomes still: “Do you want to win?” I paused for a moment…it’s not as easy to admit that I would have thought. “Yes,” I answered flatly, “Absolutely, every single time.” In that flash, I suddenly understood this to be innately true…I wanted to win. She let out a breath I hadn’t realized she was holding- and rushed through the words as if the were both precious and perishable; “In order to succeed, you must be willing to fail publicly.” whoooooshh
Those words have stuck with me like peanut butter on the roof of my mouth- and try as I might, I cannot excise the sensation. So I suppose those are my words…my quote…my $.02.
Now I just have to be willing to let someone read what I’ve written, lol…baby steps =)
Oh good golly. I thought I was being original with my post from this week: 10 brand strategy lessons from “The Princess Bride” (http://www.begtodiffer.com/2009/08/10-lessons-from-princess-bride/). But I guess, with so many PB aficionados who know every brilliant line, this was bound to happen.
Loved your take, and I obviously didn’t include enough wisdom from the man who makes Plato and Aristotle look like morons. Call me a hippopotamic land mass.